ahhhh another day over. little frustrated now. At SMI two discipleship groups (I am a leader of one) are put in charge of a certain project for the entirity of the 4wks. As the leader and along with the leader of the other D-group I have to oversee or more correctly delegate the responsibilities of said project to insure its accomplishment. Estelle and myself have been put in charge of "Continuity." Other projects include: hospitality, van prep, and site director. Now back to why I'm frustrated. Everyday since arrival, Estelle and I have been given more events and responsibilities. When we first arrived here, we were told all we had to do was forms, meaning making sure there were enough forms for each time when we're in Tx and Matamoros and then filing them the next day. Thursday we find out we are also responsible for a Translator social... and oh by the way its this Monday. Today we find out we're also responsible for organizing the Monday night meetings, which consist of worship, skits, testimonies (?), and a speaker. Oh by the way, the first meeting is this Monday. And I almost forgot to mention, we're supposed to assemble a worship team. Then tonight at 10pm I find out we are also responsible for setting up and breaking down the rooms for our evangalism and bible training, which by the way starts tomorrow at 9am.

For those of you who know me, know that I'm anal. Anal probably isn't enough of a description either... there should be a very strong adjective preceeding. It is true, I have lightened up over the last few years while at Jefferson, but my Mandichak (mostly Joe) blood is still strong. When in put in charge of tasks, I like to know everything upfront so I can plan every minute detail. I'm more laid back when it comes to things that only affect me, but when I know I am affecting other people's time, I dont want to waste it. So, as said previously, its been a little frustrating for me to learn of more and more tasks I have to accomplish with less and less time. Of course I see the benefit, though. It is an opportunity to grow in patience and less analness (?). On a tangent, something Archual and I have discussed on more than one occasion and I feel like bringing up (which I can do at will, because it is MY blog and I'm sure everyone loves to peek inside the chaos that is my mind). Times of trial, whether it be extreme such as losing a loved one, or mild such as my struggle with control, are opportunities. Now why would I say that? Those times in our lives are opportunities given to us by God to engage him, to be changed by him and ultimately be more like his Son Jesus Christ. We, rather I should say I, dont always recognize this in the mist of suffering, usually only after having gone through the fire. But if we (I) did, we would gain so much comfort in knowing that God is using and in some instances has provided that time in our lives for our good (Romans 8:28). To then extrapolate what I said before, one could argue that God is the origin of the horrible things that happen to us, using the word opportunity to describe times of trial as I did. Enevitably people then ask the question, "How can a loving and good God be the author of things that hurt us or are in our eyes evil?" The answer, in my opinion, is rather straight forward. It is distancing ourselves from looking at God through OUR eyes and seeing things with an enternal perspective. I would ask the question, "How can any god by truly good if he gives his subjects only what they perceive as pleasant or pleasureful?" We know the result of this by looking at the relationship between parents and children. Our relationship with God in heaven is not so distant. What we view as bad in the present is most definitely being used by God for our good in eternity. He is shaping us and creating in us a character that is to be "holy as he is holy" (Lev 19:2, 1 Pet 1:16). Furthermore, I would argue that viewing God as only good and loving is a terrible mistake. We cannot view God 's attributes in singularity. He is full of goodness, love, mercy, and forgiveness, but also fully just. He could not be a true judge if it were not so. Paul writes very clearly in Romans 1 that God is indeed pouring out his wrath in the present age as a result of sin. This can then be delineated further into active and passive wrath. Is God truly behind the recent natural disasters we have experienced? Or has He rather withdrawn his hand of protection, thus allowing us to feel the repercussions of our sin? Those two questions tell us the difference between active and passive wrath. My belief is that Paul was referring to the latter. Thank you for indulging in my tangent. Some (or all) of you might disagree with me on these points and I welcome discussion, but remember that this was written hurriedly as thoughts flew into my head and at 11pm.

I apologize for the extreme lenght of these blogs. I must admit, however, that I do enjoy a medium to express my thoughts. I have a lot going on in my head and I am not always able to express them appropriately with words.

The rest of the tonight was spent doing ice breakers with the rest of the team. It was fun and a great way to meet everyone. I will say that I am horrible at cherades (dont know how to spell it). Please also dont get the impression I am not having a good time at SMI. I feel, possibly, I might be sending the wrong message with these blogs. I am indeed having a great time and am excited to see how God is already exposing my sin patterns and areas of weakness. That being said, however, I believe it would be errouneous on my part to paint only a one-sided picture. time for bed, will write more later.

In my previous post, I am quote as saying "the heat really isn't that bad." Well I would like to add a caveat to that statement. In all honesty, its not terribly hot (yet), feeling no worse than an average summer day in Philly, with slightly less humidity. But for the latter half of yesterday myself, Scott Moreau (SMI director), Ezra, and Dana moved desks, chairs, and couches from this random gym used for storage into the dorms. That made it extremely hot. I'm pounding and pounding water, but felt dehydrated the whole rest of the day. I'm weighing the pros and cons of starting a peripheral IV and running some normal saline at full throttle. The darn IV pole would probably slow me down a little. Today has been a little hotter, hitting 96 degrees with a ton more humidity... hopefully it will be short-lived.

It has been great having some free time the last two days so that Dr. Matthew Moslener and I could spend some time hanging out. For those of you who don't know, Mosie is starting his internship in Family Med down here at Valley Baptist Hospital. I was even able to convince him to let me ride his new Vespa (scooter). Of course he was a little nervous at first due to my mischievous smirk (I think I also mentioned something about taking it off some sweet jumps) but finally let me. And let me tell you, it was soooo sweet! kinda makes a guy want to get a motorcycle.

Last night we had dessert over Heath and Jen Hale's apartment, who are the project and medical directors this year at SMI, respectively. Heath graduated from residency at Valley Baptist last year and Jen is in her 3rd year of residency. It was great to get to meet them and hear a little about their vision. We also spoke of our greatest excitement and fears for the summer. My excitement centers around just being able to serve those who need it most. I feel the majority of my time in med school (esp 3rd year) is focused on (1) meeting educational goals and (2) caring for sick individuals, but not necessarily the most needy. I think it will be really awesome to care for those who have negligible access to healthcare and hopefully get them connected with both a provider and church. My greatest fear I envision to be more of an obstacle, but it is hands down the language. I took 5yrs of German and can't speak a lick. 'Ich laufe' which means 'I run' is about all I got right now. We spent a good majority of time in prayer and worshiping, which was great encouragement and refreshing.

The above was written this morning, before I drove out to McAllen Airport. Just got back after about a 4 hour trip and little tired. Overall, uneventful journey and picked up 8 students. hope your all well, I'm signing off for now. hopefully I can write some more tonight.

ps... to the right is a map of texas so ya'll know where we are. look all the way at the bottom for Harlingen.

First Full Day

Even though my parents (hi mom!) think I'm a technology guru, I have yet to get into the burgeoning field of blogging. Well, that time is now over! With my inscrutable mind, proficient typing, and of course a handy thesaurus I aim to bring you the play-by-play of my time at SMI. At the end of each entry, I'll try to include some things you can pray for and also things God has revealed. I also hope to insert some pictures from time to time to give you a break from my overly verbose writing. With all that said, LETS BLOG...
I am in the midst of my first full day at SMI. Myself and 10 others flew in to Harlingen Airport yesterday afternoon, greated by sunshine, palm trees (?!), and a warm breeze. It felt more like I was in the Caribbean or L.A. (even though I have no idea what either of those feel like) than Texas. Palm trees in Tx? Never would of thought that. The trip was uneventful for the most part. I was fortunate enough to meet up with Ezra and Dana, two guys attending SMI, in the Philly airport, making the ride down here more interesting. About halfway through the trip from Philly to Houston we had a small disagreement in respect to what state we were flying over. I went with Tennessee, Dana and Ezra guessed Kentucky. We settled the debate by asking the flight attendent, who promptly called into the cabin and spoke with the captain. Needless to say, we were all wrong. Not that suprising, for those of you who truly know that I abhore geography about as much as people who read aloud the names of business' and restaurants while driving in a new city ("oooh, sizzler"... "haha look, Pepe's.").
One of the most ridiculous events occured at the Houston airport where we were catching another flight to Harlingen. For some obscure reason, we had to pass through another security checkpoint after deboarding the first plane and prior to boarding the second. I mean c'mon, we already got scanned in Philly, don't they trust them?! Ok, just re-read that, and you can disregard this entire rant because I wouldn't trust Philly security either. However, through both security checkpoints they didn't confiscate my deadly nail clippers, which pleased me since I've already had one taken from me. They even made us pass through security AGAIN after getting food, and whats more, we had to pass our food through the x-ray... absurd.
The housing is, as they referred in our welcome packet, "rustic." The rooms consist of 2-4 beds, 3 built-in closets, a sink, and a window a/c unit. It's dorm style living, with 2 rooms connected by a bathroom. I wasn't expecting plush conditions, but honestly, I was expecting to have at least a tiled or carpeted floor. Apparently, they just recently tore up the carpet in the dorm to replace it, but unfortunately now don't have the funds. So we are left with a floor that is "pseudo-dirty" in the sense that it could be swept, but still remain dirty. Those who are carpenters might know what I mean. But that is my fault for having expectations. I thought going into the trip that I didn't have any, but obviously I fooled myself (haha, I'm so tricky!). The a/c units are key, but serve only to take the edge off the heat. Its not too hot, around 85 thus far with less humidity than Philly and a nice breeze. Myself and the others spent the rest of the day unpacking SMI boxes containing hangers, shower caddies, blankets (I'm told its chilly at night... i'm suspicious), towels, and the like.
We got to spend some time last night in prayer praising God for what He has given us and done thus far. All kidding aside, God has provided a great place here to live. Its not all I have in Philly, but it's all I need (just like Him). I'm excited to be in a simple living environment with other Christians with the goal of creating community. It's not going to be easy everyday for the next 4wks, especially for someone who enjoys his personal space, but it's going to be a great learning and growing experience. Pray for me as tomorrow some of the guys in my group will arrive. I have a peace about leading, but feel inadequate. God can use this, I know, and look forward to Him doing so. Pray also that I can more fully realize the body of Christ in action. Some verses I read this morning: I Corinthians 14:26, Proverbs 27:17.